As I've aged, I've become kinder to myself, and less critical of myself. I've become my own friend..
I have seen too many dear friends leave this world too soon; before they understood the great freedom that comes with aging.
Whose business is it if I choose to read or play on the computer until 4 AM or sleep until noon? I will dance with myself to those wonderful tunes of the 60 &70's, and if I, at the same time, wish to weep over a lost love .. I will.
I will walk the beach in a swim suit that is stretched over a bulging body, and will dive into the waves with abandon if I choose to, despite the pitying glances from the jet set.
They, too, will get old.
I know I am sometimes forgetful. But there again, some of life is just as well forgotten. And I eventually remember the important things.
Sure, over the years my heart has been broken. How can your heart not break when you lose a loved one, or when a child suffers, or even when somebody's beloved pet gets hit by a car? But broken hearts are what give us strength and understanding and compassion. A heart never broken is pristine and sterile and will never know the joy of being imperfect.
I am so blessed to have lived long enough to have my hair turning gray, and to have my youthful laughs be forever etched into deep grooves on my face.
So many have never laughed, and so many have died before their hair could turn silver.
As you get older, it is easier to be positive. You care less about what other people think. I don't question myself anymore..
I've even earned the right to be wrong.
So, to answer your question, I like being old. It has set me free. I like the person I have become. I am not going to live forever,
but while I am still here, I will not waste time lamenting what could have been, or worrying about what will be. And I shall eat dessert every single day(if I feel like it).
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Since yesterday was the longest day of the year I thought I should do something. After work and before Serenity and Carlton got to my house, I drove over to Tammie's to get my sunglasses that I had left there the day before and to take Zoe's birthday present. I gave her the beautiful little purse I had made and put some goodies in it for her. Stuff like hair ribbon, lip gloss hand sanitizer (she's going to camp this week) some pads of paper and a pen. She seemed pleased and MM loved the purse too. I guess one for her will be made soon. They I scooted home and the other daughter (her husband) came to work on the desk top since it had no internet access. I think it does now but it was past my night night time when they left and I leave for work before the crack of early I didn't have time to play on it.
Monday, June 13, 2011
I have been reading other blogs this morning and notice how people keep saying how they are blessed. I too am so blessed. I forget it so often and I get caught up in the " I wants" and I forget about the "I haves" God has given me a wonderful husband, and two wonderful husbands before him. So many women don't get the joy of having one good marriage and I have had three. I have three super children. All are so different but yet each a blessing to me. I have six, yes I still say six, perfect grandchildren. I have not been allowed to see two of them for many years but I am looking forward to the day I will see them and make up for the time of missed hugs and kisses. My Mother is still living and as I speak is moving into a townhouse with her husband. She is in WV so I don't get to see her that often. I have two sisters who live in the same area as my Mom they are a blessing also. Thank you God for my family! My cup runs over in love.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
This weekend was so calm; no excitement whatsoever. I finished the "bag" I was working on. Hurrah! Then I started decorating a brown bag. I used to decorate those and coffee cans quite often but got out of it just like I did everything else. Well, I'm back and enjoying those moments of creativity.
Rich had a not so good weekend. His energy level is quite low and it is a struggle to get his therapy exersizes in every day, but he does and I am so proud of him working so hard.
I tried to clean out the closet in the craft room but once I started I discovered too many memories and I can only handle just so much of those. Now I can't even see the floor of the craft room much less get any fun stuff done so I will have to make several trips to the dumpster this afternoon and get rid of that stuff. Most of it belongs to children so if they didn't want it I shouldn't... Right?